Grammar and spelling needs work but easily dealt with. When using a plural for a word ending in s you don't need to add another s after the ' . . . . for example ass's could just be ass' it's the same thing just looks a little tidier. The story is good and i'll continue reading it. There's the part where price gets what military call the 'dead man's click' at the end there. you should add a bit more of a heart stopping moment there. talk of the fear running through his veins as he waits for the spikes. add a bit of drama to the moments just before the helio arrives. Another good story tho, the other parts will eventually come to you it just takes work, but story telling is something you either have or don't have. and you have it.
The Volkreonic Wars